Help! The Aged!

In two hours time I will be alone, alone but not unwatched, I'll be standing solitary on a stage performing a 30 minute cabaret for old people. Actually that's not very respectful of me is it? Senior citizens maybe? Seasonally challenged? Club 1930's? Whatever the terminology (no pun intended) I'm not convinced they'll be laughing at my jokes, and often I find audiences enjoy magic much more if they possess sight and sense. There's also the small matter of their final approach, I'm a little worried about pushing them over the edge, about sailing their boat off into the sunset. It's not gonna take much, a loud noise, a small shock, and I could not be the only one to die on stage. I've never killed a man, yet; perhaps today will be the day I tick that box. A friend of mine ended someone's sunshine once. He juggled axes over an 80 year old's head, and, the excitement too much for him, poor Ted passed away that evening on the coach ride home. Still if you're gonna book us, you've only got yourself to blame.