What's in a name?

'I have a terrible memory for names,' people say. Stupid people that is. Names are one of the easiest things to remember, Dave, Kate, Jeff, Chris, Anne, Clint, I could go on! Pete, Dan, Liz, Sam- ok you get the idea. Matching names to faces is the nightmare. It's all just a lot of eyes, noses, mouths and eyebrows, especially late at night when you're not really concentrating. I have a theory there are probably around 37 different types of face, and all the others just variations on a theme. I meet so many people working as a magician, at an average gig there will be maybe 150 people, let's say I do 3 gigs a week, that's 12 a month, 144 a year, so 3 x 12 x 144 x 150... it's roughly a billion people a year. How am I supposed to remember all those names? Doing magic has taught me the totally crippling non-social skill of memorising a name for approximately ten minutes, just long enough for them to get off my stage, then woosh! that name is outta there. That's what I take through to my social life, at parties I will be in the middle of a great conversation about crisps and prime numbers, when slowly a horrible realisation dawns that I don't know my new friend's name. Why do I never listen at the beginning? I'm always too busy thinking about Jaffa Cakes or something. And like a shark attack, you can be quite ok for a long while, lazing in calm still waters unaware of the danger circling below, when out of the blue it is time for the number swap. I'll ask for business cards, I'll ask for it to be written down, anything other than the dreaded cellular entry. But nowadays people know these tactics, so they just reel off numbers and watch as you type digits into your phone, glistening with sweat, viciously ransacking your memory for potentials while your thumb hovers over the name field. So if you're at a party with me and I accidentally call you Steve, don't take it too badly. Especially if your name's Claire.