Shamen You

I know you all think magicians are awesome, but we are living a lie man. We should be as cool as Batman, but contrary to our claims we have no real special powers, and even those we fabricate are laughably ridiculous. We would make the worst superheroes in the world, think about the magic tricks you've seen- doves appearing, candles vanishing, sponge balls multiplying, they're the lamest superpowers in the world. We'd never get into a Private Member's Club for Superheroes:

Doorman: Good evening Sir, can I help you?
Superman: I’m Superman! I can see through walls, run faster than a speeding bullet and disguise myself with just a pair of glasses.
Doorman: Very well, in you come. And you Sir?
Johnny: I’m Johnny the Human Torch! I can turn myself into a flaming inferno at will!
Doorman: Ok come in, but stay away from the couch. And you?
Magic Man: I’m card trick boy! I can put a card in the middle of the deck and with a snap of the fingers make it come all the way back to the top!!
Doorman: …What?
Magic Man: I put this card in the middle, snap my fingers, and look! it's back at the top. You push it in this time… and tada, back at the top! It's a Christmas Miracle! This time we'll-
[thump]
Doorman: Now, you in the green with the purple shorts...