Sign on and on and on...

What's the unemployment rate at the moment? 5.5 percent. 8 million people. I just looked it up. Today I go to the Job Centre to join their ranks. Here's the score: in order to get a Good Deal on a debt-4-life Career Development Loan I need to prove I've been an unemployed bum, without a name, a taxless wonder for the past three months. I have, so no problem there. I just gotta prove it. To do this? I just gotta sign on. How hard can it be?

3pm - arrive and join a queue for enquiries
3.15 - at enquiries told to sign in cleverly concealed "signing in" book before joining queue
3.40 - seen by enquiries
3.55 - enquiries reveal i'm on wrong floor
3.56 - redirected upstairs through hitherto unnoticed small inconspicuous door hidden around a corner
4pm - arrive upstairs and join queue
4.15 - told to sign in book
4.30 - handed 40 page job seekers allowance form, 10 page job seeking jobby form, 3 page bank details detail
5.30 - complete forms hand them over for "checking"
5.45 - told my introductory interview can now be arranged
5.47 - when arranging a suitable date, asked what type of job i would be seeking
5.48 - i reply "no job, as i need to be unemployed for three months"
5.49 - long pause
5.50 - handed sealed plastic wrapped incapacity benefit novella to be completed and posted in.
5.51 - told to leave
5.52 to present - still attempting to open sealed wrapping of aforementioned form
Some time in between - read Kafka's The Trial and cry tears of jealous longing for his fictionalised bureaucracy.