Tip Top Baby Tips

I almost tipped a baby out of a pram this morning. I didn't mean to, I was trying to be nice! I saw a woman struggling up the stairs with it, and I automatically offered to help. What a nice guy I am, I thought. Didn't even think twice about offering, just offered. I was so caught up in the niceness of my act, the cuteness of the baby and the heroic image I was creating, that I only had grip of one of the wheels. The mother obviously had an agenda for the day and couldn't hold on for the daydreamer, so started off, causing my hand to act as a pivot and rocking the pram to a dangerous level of wobblage. The first I knew of it was the look of dawning horror on the baby's face, as his little paws tightened their grip on his blanket and he squeezed his eyes shut. For a few moments it did indeed look like baby was going overboard, and I had an image of him bouncing comically down every other step in such a way that we'd all have to laugh. But at the last moment, the mother, being a mother, wrestled the pram back to the horizontal, like a pilot pulling up the plane just before the mountain. Needless to say, she climbed the rest of the stairs by herself. And then when I got on the tube, a guy in Nike shorts and a suit jacket, incidentally acting much too confidently for a man in his attire, started staring at me in disgust. How did he know?