Sole Searching

Why do women place so much importance on the shoes I choose? Apparently it's a really big deal. This is another one of those secret female conspiracies to keep me single isn't it? What is it about footwear that reveals so much? Do leather uppers reflect the hunter-gatherer instinct in you? Does wearing suede in the rainy season show you don't think things through? Maybe sandals betray the optimist, slip-ons expose the loafer, and running shoes prove you like the chase? And of course you know what they say about men with big feet?
They make good clowns.