forana

'...I am unbalanced; every morning I wake up and fall out of bed, hop on a tube, skip lunch, twist arms, grab coffee and catch the bus.

I need to be alone for a while. People watch me, they come to watch me, and I need to be alone for a while. Sometimes I wake early, before anyone else, and I catch the very first tube train. I go to the busy city, the business city, the busiest part I can find, but before, so it is not yet busy, and I wait in the street I know will be the busiest. I stand still and slowly the rush hour crowd begins to flow around me, stronger and stronger, but I do not move, people bump and push past me, but I stay quiet, a pebble in the river. It can be a very nice thing.

Loneliness? I think it is bad for you to be lonely, because then you have a need of a somebody all the time. You are craving a someone all the time. You are like ooof. You should enjoy that moment of peace. Be at peace, not in pieces. You should have solitude. Solitude is not loneliness, it is quieter, and not so excitable. I feel I often have solitude. More than loneliness? They mingle I think, red socks in a white wash.' [more]