The times they are a fryin'

And I thought I was lazy... Nuh huh, compared to a fish fryer I'm a beaver with a backlog. Chippies contain the laziest of all lazies ever to be found lazing anywhere in the world. They excel at it, with their uniformly fat stained aprons, omniscient fag ash and Worzel Gummidge straw hair. Obviously at some point they decided to knuckle down and put some real effort into their laziness, because it's not a casual disregard for work, it's a nationwide conspiracy throwing the away the fetters of an honest and hard-working society and trampling all over the common man. I am the common man. And I want chips! How come they have it so easy? They don't even have opening times, they have frying times! A change of one word, and suddenly they decide to open their doors a mere 3 hours a day! Unbelievable. I go along at 2pm and they're closed! 2pm couldn't be more lunchtime! I asked one, and they said they like to close in the afternoon. Literally, after noon. What kind of tax break system is that. I say we organise the masses and storm the seafront! rise up and reclaim the fritters! lock them away with their own pickled eggs! So who's with me?