My hair is on fire

Where is my soul these days? I had one at some point, definitely, did I lend it to someone? I think it was blue with red stripes if that rings any bells. Currently I am having long periods of doubt, wondering if, after all is said and done, I might be just a bag of neutrons and glucose, bouncing around like a spacehopper. If I were to be truthful then I would admit that I am rather simple, I consider the driving force of my existence to be my sight. I relate the proof of my reality directly to my ability to see, I judge myself in relation to the physical; my soul is my eyes, two windows looking out on eternity. When I close them and look at the darkness, it is the only reminder I have of not being. 'Not being' scares me considerably less than the idea of an afterlife. What if my soul gets lost, misplaced or mislaid in the changeover? I’m only one of many billions after all, what if I get sent the wrong way by mistake? Is there an appeal procedure? I don't think there is... Forever is a long time to watch the world go by, especially if you're downstairs. Before my earliest memories, all that comes to mind is a special kind of darkness, a void of nothingness, not the sight of darkness, but a black hole of absorption, like I was lost in a cupboard and forgot to come out. But it doesn't feel like I've just popped into existence, more like I was upto something for a while, and then just forgot what it was. And, if I were to be truly honest for a second time, I would have to accept that I often hope that one day my existence will come to an end. The thought of eternity is pretty tiring, and that these eyes will never stop seeing wears me out.