Not to be

What do you do when your childhood sweetheart falls in love with a guy that isn't you? It's not even that you are so keen on her anymore. Sure, she's nice, but that was a long time ago. And anyway. You probably wouldn't even mind if she fell in love with someone else. But just not that guy. Who isn't you. And is so someone else. You try and be nice about it. You try and look happy. But really, one way or another the disappointment seeps out. And you have to say no, no, no, I'm really happy for you, honestly, I am really, very happy. And there is a long pause, and you both look down at your plates, and you don't say anything for a while until the waiter asks if the food is ok. And then you say yes a bit too quickly. And as you catch the train home that night, waiting on a platform that still smells the same as it did ten years ago, something inside you changes, not for good or for bad, but just changes.