Social Path

I like parties. Small parties, big parties, house parties, posh parties; all the different kinds of parties. Except the political ones. A party is a room full of fear; but with drinks. And I like to drink. I’ll drink you under the table, down the stairs, into the cellar and into the ground. I’ll drink you six feet under and still be standing for the toast. Here’s to me, the girl of your dreams. I can get lost in conversations, and wrapped up in your small talk, I can pretend you’re interesting and laugh when appropriate. I know where to stand to get the best canapés, how quickly to drink for optimum top-up, and when to leave so we still get a cab. I know the best press launches, the finest free lunches, the pick of the champagne brunches. I’m top of the list at every queue, I’m the first call of everyone I know, and the backup of those I don’t. I go only to those places they refuse to let you in, I can talk myself into anywhere and out of any trouble. I’m so well connected, electricians are in awe of me. I’m at home only when I’m out. I am the life and soul of the party, and the party is my life and soul.