Sticks and Stones

If I had a son I'd call him Dogby. I'm not saying I do, but if I did, I would. Dogby vanderput. You've got to admit, it's got a ring to it. My best friends are about to have a baby, it'll be their second, a girl. I've been petitioning to name her Johnana, but it's not going so well. I've offered them an alternative, but somehow, Mirandaput has yet to win them over.