MAC vs unPC

My computer is laughing at me. Literally. It won't stop laughing at me. Every time I move the mouse or hit the keyboard it cackles and howls at me. I search the internet for mac-based laughing viruses. Nothing. I look in the manual, call up friends, ask Jeeves; no-one seems to have ever experienced this. But I have, and I am, and it's driving me crazy. I restart and restart, but each time I do the wicked witch of the west comes back with avengence. I mute the volume but that knocks out youtube and itunes, and what would be the point of life without these? Two hours later I find the answer. The 'Voiceover' utility has turned itself on. And, I'm not making this up here, it's been switched to 'Hysterical'. Why the f@$K does it have an Hysterical setting? What kind of sick mind dreams this up? The Voiceover utility is designed to promote access to those with impairments, the visually impaired, the hard of hearing, etc. Surely this amounts to nothing less than mocking the disabled? Another reason why Apple is the true evil of the computing world, a Digital Damian that makes Microsoft look about as Satanic as Spinal Tap.