Spiderbaby

I have to say I think the animal kingdom has it a lot easier than humankind when it comes to mating. Take spiders for example, sure the males may get eaten by the females once the night's over, but at least they don't have to call! Or meet the inlaws! And salmon; so maybe they have to leap up waterfalls and struggle through rapids just to get to the place of their birth so they can lay their eggs, but have you ever seen a girl getting ready for a date? If a salmon saw that they'd hangglide off cliff edges, ride a bicycle and flop a marathon just to avoid the plucking and the shaving. And by the way, if there are any salmon reading, when you're born just stay where you are! Take it from me, the world's not that exciting, stay where you are and I'll send you the postcards. When it comes to delivery time you'll thank me more than you could ever know.