High rule

I don't play many games these days. I used to be a bit of an old skool gamer, but over recent years I've lost the love. The exception will always be Zelda, which has cemented a very special place in my stony heart. With Zelda, you're not just playing a computer game, oh no! you're Saving the Princess! Protecting the Ancients! Redeeming a Kingdom! Last year I got stuck in hospital for a couple of weeks, and after a few days, pushed for space, they shipped me down to one of those death wards; a room full of patients queueing to die. People were dropping like flies, flies were flourishing in the filth, and I was wilting like the cheap garage flowers at every bed. Each night the guy to my left would strip his clothes off and assault my bed, the guy to the right would defecate and produce the most awful stench, and the nurses would look on in disdain. Through all this however, my one true companion was always there for me: Link, the hero of a golden age. We sailed the ocean, found the treasure, caught the fish, fought the Ganon, and screamed through Windwaker in a week. My schedule was thus:

7am: Woken with a blood test
7.02am: Play Zelda
12.30pm: Play Zelda left handed while eating lunch
2-4pm: Play Zelda while half talking to visitors
8pm: Play Zelda right handed while eating tea
4am: Fall asleep while Playing Zelda
7am: See above

And the happiest memory of the week is the small litlle ray of hope that game used to give me at regular intervals. You see, when you collect 5 rupees (the Hyrulian unit of currency) the game cries "You found 5 rupees! Not too shabby!". What a beautiful, uplifting, and delicate little outlook on life: "Not too shabby!"