Greater Hits

As people keep asking me about my fortchcoming album, I thought I'd post some snippets of the lyrics to whet the appetite. "ShowStoppers - the very best of vanderPut!" will be available at all Major Record Stores from January 19th, 2005!

B. Keeper

I like Picking Flowers
Pick pick pick pick pick
I like Stroking Bees
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz
But when I try them both
The Bees get rather Cross

A Song for the Self-Employed

I bought my princess a new silk dress
It was Tax Deductable!
With bows and lace she wore it with grace
All of it Tax Deductable!

I took her out, lunch was my shout
Unless it’s Tax Deductable!
I claimed the meal as a business deal
It was Tax Deductable!

I’m serving time, for my tax fraud crime
It wasn’t Tax Deductable.
It's a pretty long stretch with an Etch-a-Sketch
No longer Tax Deductable.

Prank Telephone Caller

I’m the prank telephone caller
And I’ll leave a message for you.
If you don’t return-a my call I’ll
Leave another message for you.

Breath of a Salesman

I get the door, she’s in her finest dress
We wine and dine at Pizza Express
We skip the starters, two pizzas no frills,
I miss off the tip and we split the bill.
And later that night, before she even knew it,
I’d seduced her to the music of Rod Stewart.

Also included: Cake Gets in Your Eyes, I'm Gonna Run From You, Remove Packaging And Cook Me On Defrost, and of course, the No. 1 smash hit Delays Are Occuring on the Jubilee Line...