[SFX: A phone rings]

JOHN: Hello?
VOICE: Good morning, can I speak to L van der Put please?
JOHN: Of course you may, may I ask in what it is regarding?
VOICE: I am calling about the possibility of cheaper phone calls.
JOHN: Ok just making sure it's not one of those pesky courtesy calls, but you sound top knotch so I'll just go and get them. Oh... sorry... which L van der Put do you want again?
VOICE: Sorry?
JOHN: Well, there's more than one L van der Put at this address. There's Len, Lenny, Lennox, Lennard, Larry, Lonny, Linny, Lanny, Lombard, Lincoln, Linkun, Lincan, Linco, Laura, Lara, Lira, Lura-
VOICE: Err-
JOHN: London, Leften, Loften, Limpet, Longel, Lintel, Lentel-
VOICE: Len! Just Len van der Put.
JOHN: Oh, ok. Was that Len T. van der Put? Len C. van der Put? Len B. van der Put? Len G. van der Put? Len V. van der-
VOICE: Len T. van der Put!
JOHN: Of course. And Sir Len T. van der Put? Mr Len T. van der Put? Reverend Len T. van der Put? Lord Len T. van der Put? Captain Len T. van der Put? Prince-
VOICE: Mr! Mr!
JOHN: Mr Len T. van der Put I? Mr Len T. van der Put II? Mr Len T. van der Put the IIIIIII jr?
VOICE: The first one, the first one!
JOHN: Ah, sorry, he's not in.