This is what love is(n't)

did i have someone?
i used to have someone.
not anymore. they are in my head now
in a space that i keep

a space for the dead now
i don't let anyone else in there
just them.
sometimes late at night i forget to stop thinking about them.
and all i can do is to think about them.
sometimes i'm not sure whether they are there or not
like when you hear something and you wake up
but then you are not sure whether you really heard something.
sometimes they are a memory that i cannot taste anymore
and i have forgotten all the colours.
and sometimes they are like a memory that I don't remember
that I am not sure if it is mine or not.
and for a while I feel a bit lost
and not myself.
sometimes it's like that.