Short and Sweet

Being small, I've always had a distaste for the phrase 'fun size'. For a kid, the last thing a third of a Mars bar is is fun. A fun size Mars bar would be from here to the moon. That would be fun sized. A mars bar so long that by the time you'd finished eating it all your friends had aged irreparably, and you'd become living proof of the theory of relativity, and got to star in a movie about it, called Small, and you became some sort of anti-tom hanks and got to kiss Camerion Diaz lots. That would be the correct measurement of fun. So you've got to feel sorry for whoever it was that came up with this yardstick: three inches, yep, that's the size of my fun.