for emelié

I put your name on the door
Though I knew you weren't coming

I stood before strangers
And I prayed you weren't coming

I talked and they laughed
Because they knew you weren't coming

I knelt and I begged
But I knew you weren't coming

Things I wanted to say but didn't fit in the poem which doesn't say what I wanted anyway:
I did the whole show to an empty door waiting for you to come in.
I have no hope but grace, it's all I hold on to, it's all I can face.
I ate dinner and couldn't taste it.
I miss you like nothing else.